Self-advocacy is a critical life skill, yet it is one that many of us struggle to master. As children, our parents often handle this role, speaking up for our needs and ensuring we receive the support we require. However, as we grow older, it becomes our responsibility to advocate for ourselves—to be our own champions. The ability to express our needs, values, and rights clearly and effectively can significantly impact all areas of our lives, from securing proper healthcare to advancing in our careers. Despite its importance, many people feel unsure about how or when to self-advocate, or feel too uncomfortable to do so. This blog aims to demystify self-advocacy and provide practical steps to help you become your own best advocate, empowering you to take control of your future and achieve greater confidence and independence.
One of the biggest hurdles I faced with self-advocacy was learning to effectively advocate for myself within the realms of physical and mental healthcare. It was a long journey, which wasn’t helped by my frequent moves. The reality is, no one knows you better than you do, and no one is as invested in your well-being as you are. Doctors are often overworked and may not have sufficient time to dedicate to each patient. Furthermore, they might lack a specialized knowledge about your specific issues or may not have been your physician long enough to notice patterns in your health.
I will write more about self advocacy in your healthcare in the future, but for now, I will say this: Doctors or psychologists are not one size fits all. Medication is not one size fits all. Especially in the mental health field. Take the time to find the right fit for you. Find a health professional who listens to you and has experience with your particular issues. Do research on your own and discuss concerns with your doctor. Take notes! I get stressed at hospitals so when I used to go see a doctor, so I would forget things I wanted to discuss. Now I bring a notebook with my questions/concerns written down ahead of time so I don’t forget anything.
Recently, I had to learn to advocate for myself in a new way. In my career. It seems insane to me now, but until recently, I had never asked for a raise. I’ve gotten raises here and there, but I’ve never requested one despite knowing I was underpaid. I’ve also never asked or expressed interest in a promotion at any job I’ve held. I just expected my work to stand for itself and thought that what others decided I was worth must be right. I finally started advocating for myself at work recently because I reached a point where I had to get a raise or I had to find a new job. Now that I have a family, that is what drives everything for me and I will do anything for my family so I finally decided that I needed to get over my discomfort with the idea of asking for a raise and also express my desire to keep growing with my company.
To make a long story short, this resulted in me getting a significant raise as well as now being in line for a big promotion that will come with its own significant raise. I was lucky that my supervisor seriously had my back in these negotiations, but something that really stuck with me in this whole process was when talking to the owner of the company about my raise, he told me that he really doesn’t know what I do at the company. It was crazy for me to think about because I have played a really vital role at the company. For a long time, I was the only editor they could hold on to, so operations would have literally stopped without me. There was no one else who was trained to do the work I do. More importantly, I have played a significant role recently in changing our processes to improve efficiencies. My supervisor knew that. But the owner of the company who actually makes the decision of how much I get paid had no idea before I started advocating for myself within the company.
I know that advocating for yourself can be scary and uncomfortable. Do it anyway. You deserve a space in this world. You deserve proper healthcare and competitive pay. You deserve to feel safe. And your success doesn’t have to mean someone else’s failure. Life is not a zero-sum game. We can build ourselves up and do the same for each other.
Here are steps you can take to become your own best advocate:
1. Believe in Yourself: Recognize your strengths and worth, acknowledging the unique qualities and skills you bring to the table. Confidence in your abilities not only boosts your self-esteem but also makes self-advocacy more effective, enabling you to communicate your needs and desires more clearly and assertively.
2. Understand Your needs: Identify specific areas where you need to advocate for yourself. For example, understanding your medical condition if you need to advocate within the healthcare system. Reflect on your values, needs, and goals. Ask yourself questions like, “What are my needs?” and “What support do I require?”
3. Gather Information and Understand Your Rights: Familiarize yourself with your rights in various settings such as school, work, or healthcare. Research the rules, regulations, and best practices related to your issue. For instance, if advocating for a raise, learn about industry salary standards and your company’s compensation policies.
4. Document Everything: Keep detailed records, including notes on your concerns and interactions. Ensure you include dates, times, and the names of individuals involved. This comprehensive documentation can provide clarity and support your case if needed.
5. Find Support and learn from others: Seek advice from individuals or groups who have similar experiences. Don’t hesitate to consult experts or mentors. Asking questions about your concerns and getting feedback can provide additional perspectives and solutions. Joining support groups can provide insights and morale.
6. Plan a Strategy: Based on your understanding and research, devise a strategy to address your needs. Consider various possible approaches and evaluate their potential effectiveness. Seek feedback from knowledgeable sources and incorporate their insights to refine your strategy further.
7. Communicate Effectively: Use clear, assertive, and respectful communication to express your needs and desires. Ensure you articulate your thoughts in a straightforward manner, while also being mindful and considerate of the other person’s perspective.
8. Negotiate and Compromise: Be prepared to find common ground and maintain positive relationships while advocating for your needs.
9. Be Persistent: Follow up regularly on your requests and keep track of progress.
10. Stay Updated: Continuously update your knowledge to stay informed about any changes in policies or new resources that can aid your self-advocacy efforts.
11. Be an Ally and Advocate for Others: Speaking up for others can build your confidence in self-advocacy and gain allies who might support you in the future.
By thoroughly researching and preparing, you can enhance your self-advocacy skills and feel more confident when expressing your needs and goals.
